So I attended an engagement ceremony the day before, and it was wonderful really, but of course there are those elements which always allow it to identify properly with a typical Nigerian party. So here are the things I believe to be the requirements for a typical Nigerian family
1.
African Time: In its mild sense, being
fashionably late. This is usually due to the women of the house, mainly the
mother. She wakes you up at 6 am in the morning to rush you to get ready for a party
by 10 am. By 7, you are ready and seated in the living room, but she is just
about to go bath, that’s about 45 mins gone. Let’s not forget she needs to
choose an outfit, another 30 mins. Then there’s the makeup, which requires
about 50 mins. She then decides she does not like the look and chooses another
outfit, and clears and applies another coat of makeup to match, thus repeating the cycle
again. After she is done, you might have to wait for that friend who is also
hitching a ride, another 1 hour. Around this time your mother has told the host
about 5 times that you are already on your way, or even worse, that you are at
the gate. You leave the house by 12, you enter gbese traffic for about an hour
or more, you then arrive at the venue by 2 ish. But there’s no problem, because
even the hosts of the event have not arrived either. :)
2.
The Extra Invitees: Also known as mo gbo mo ya.
These people are normally known as the passers-by who see a party going on and
see it as an avenue for free food. These are not the only ones though. Yes, I’m
talking to you, you who decide to tag along with your friend to that party, ‘to
keep them company’. You do not know the celebrant/bride/groom/host/dead person
at the funeral, but decide to go and act like the star of the show.
3.
Overzealously dressed people: These ones whose
ambition it is to outshine the celebrant/bride/groom/dead person (dead or not,
they are still the main person, abeg). These people usually come in form of
women with their oversized geles, runs girls showing off a bit too much, ‘big
boys’ with their bling and goggles sunglasses and men with their agbadas that
sweep the whole walkway. Pls help us and simmer down with your get up.
4.
Anger/Confusion: What’s a Nigerian party without
this right? That point when you don’t find the host, or the food does not get
around well enough or the music is not working well. Everyone gets tense around
these moments. Caution, if your mother is part of the committee during parties
like this, do not disturb her around this time.
5.
Food: Ah yes, the assortment of food. Nigerian
Parties are very famous in this aspect. The problem though, is at a point,
it’ll seem like the food is vanishing. This could be due to those gluttons who
decide one plate of rice is not enough, and after the 4th plate,
still want to try out the swallow meals and the variety of meat, chicken,
turkey, fish etc. Of course, to go with this they need bottles and cartons of
juice, soft drinks, beer, water etc. to wash it down. They consume the food
meant for multitudes and still find space. The miraculous part is at the end of
the party, just like the feeding of the 5000, there are still leftovers enough
for people to pack about 3 warmers each to take home to feed their family,
friends, dogs, cat etc.
6.
Dignitaries/Special Guests: This is not very
essential, but in order to spice up your party, there is need for an invited
D.P.O, Governor/Deputy, Speaker, Justice etc. There is also need to recognise
the presence of such dignitaries, people who only come at the middle and leave
at the middle, just to make an appearance.
7.
Family reunions: Probably one of the most
infuriating things at these parties, those aunties uncles, great grandfather,
half-brothers, who claim to know you and haven’t seen you since you popped out
of your mother or since you were ‘like this’. Sometimes, there’s a bright side,
as there is that rich uncle that will give you money. Nigerian parties
generally are used as avenues to meet long lost family members.
8.
Money: This is obviously the best part of
Nigerian parties. The spraying of money everywhere once people hit the dance
floor. As a kid /teenager, this is a great method of earning money. Be careful
though, if your mother is the type to immediately ask for your earnings after,
I suggest you stash it away and formulate a quick excuse.
9.
Music: There are two types of music, the live
band and the D.J. Most parties make use of both. The live band is usually used
for most of the party and honestly, I have to hail the musician’s vocal chords
for being able to sing for so long. These musicians will usually hail you and
fit your name into their song to entice you to spray them money. So beware,
after they call your name the second time, you better sit down. The D.J is
usually used at the end when the young ones want to dance or in some cases,
when the musician has lost his/her voice or caught a sore throat.
10.
The after party: The good thing about Nigerian
Parties is, they last till whenever. A party scheduled to end at 7 pm will have
that unofficial after party where the big men will gather round to tell
moonlight stories about political parties and government policies, women will
discuss boutiques, Dubai, gold etc., the young adults will find their special
corners and the kids will be running around, catching their own fun. All the
while, there is music blaring from the speakers that can be heard from the next
estate.
Doesn’t matter where you are, Overseas or
here, it is easy to spot a Nigerian party.
All this right here is my opinion, I am entitled to it so
pls don’t judge me.I am Nigerian and proud. Feel free to comment and post your own opinion . Ejo, no haters on here, I’m new to this so spare me.
Posts
.jpg)
